Battle Arena Nintendo

Battle #11 Samus Aran VS  Sky Kid

Announcer #1: Welcome back to Battle Arena Nintendo, so much...er... so many... aw, fuck it. Can't we just go to a commercial break?

Announcer #2: Pathetic human. Your kind makes me want to vomit oil.

Announcer #1: Your kind makes me wish I already did.

Announcer #2: You want a piece of me, you stanky hoe!?

Announcer #1: Bring it on, TIN BITCH!!!

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Jerry: Come on people, um, and artificial androids. Save it for another violence-ridden episode of Battle Arena Nintendo. Let's go ringside.

Sky Kid: Yeah, this is weak.

Samus Aran: I could be having hot, lesbian sex with Roll right now.

Sky Kid: What's hot, lesbian sex?

Samus Aran: How old are you anyway?

Sky Kid: Um, 1..2...3... I lost count.

Samus Aran: Hey, announcer guys, can I just kill this guy already and go shopping?

Announcer 1: No, the rules expressly state that you must make at least some attempt to slaughter your opponent and further the deterioration of American culture.

Samus Aran: Whatever. {takes off space suit and juggles breasts}What do you think of these, boy?

Sky Kid (takes a dive towards them): Mommy!!!

Samus Aran: ICE BEAM BLAST!!!! {freezes Sky Kid}

Samus Aran: Wow, that was colder than when my lover moaned her sister's name. Thank you, Ben Stein.

What We Have Learned Tonight

There is something better than "Great Danes Other Than Hamlet."