Bible Adventures

What were the people at Wisdom Tree smoking when they designed this hideous attempt to guise a cult movement in a NES game?  Frankly, I'm surprised they managed to create it, because religious fundementalism usually requires a vapid intellect and is incompatiable with the intelligence neccessary for programming code. Wisdom attempted to put three games in one that would teach kids about the Bible and foster a love for God by randomly quoting Bibical propaganda during gameplay. The three games of choice are Baby Moses, Noah's Ark, and David and Goliath. Hm, I think Goliath is spelled right but I don't care ebough about this game to check it out. In baby Moses, you try to take Baby Moses across the stages and avoid letting the guards drown him in the river. Interestingly enough, you can drown Moses and not kill yourself. If you do you'll get a message, "good job! but you forgot Baby Moses." Can you feel the pain yet? I'm sure the five kids who actually bought this game new played it over and over again just to drown Moses with perverse pleasure. Both Noah's Ark and David and Goliath consist of grabbing animals and dumping them off at the end of level. In Noah's Ark you must collect two of each animal and in David and Goliath, instead of killing giants, you collect sheep for some weird reason. To answer my original question: Acid and crack at the same time maybe?

Graphics C+

Sound/Music D

Challenge B- (Due to the enemies to score chessy rehits on you.)

Play Control C (gameplay slows down. Stupid programmers, there's not a lot of data to process)

Fun Factor F

Replay Value F (unless you like to kill Moses)

Overall F 1/2 link